


We have each other

by Ishastro93



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, Gallavich, Gen, Ian Gallagher - Freeform, M/M, Mickey Milkovich - Freeform, we have each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:56:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishastro93/pseuds/Ishastro93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place at the end of season four.<br/>Ian and Mickey struggle with Ian's possible bipolar disorder. Which puts strain on their relationship. Both have the same common goal which is ian  to be better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a cold snowy morning and Mickey woke up in a cold sweat. He hadn’t had a nightmare since he was a kid back when his dad use to get locked up in the joint. Even though he has always hated his dad, when all of his family were in the house he felt whole. But he found someone to make him feel whole no matter what. It just happened to be ian Gallagher.. the fire crotch from the block. Mickey always knew he was somewhat gay, but never acted on his feelings towards men till he met ian.  
He sat up and wiped his forehead, thinking of how far he has came from where ian and him started.  
It went from just hooking up to mickey falling deeply in love with ian and ian had mutual feelings towards mickey . mickey was trying to remember his dream but couldn’t and didn’t even really want to try and recall it. He was still shaking from when he first originally woke up.  
Mickey turned over and looked at ian sleeping so soundly. A warm fuzzy feeling filled his body. Which he use to hate when that feeling would arise because of ian but since coming out to his father and everyone at the alibi last week. He has started to accept it as normal.  
The sun was entering the room from the slits in the blinds. Rows of light went across ians face and the top of his head. The rays of warm light reflected off ians hair reminding mickey of the flames from the random barrel fires the south side would have in the parks during the winter times.  
Mickey smiled for a second remembering when ian was in a better state. Something happened to ian and mickey didn’t know what. After the fight at the alibi with his dad, all they did was go to mickey house fuck and went to sleep. They both were exhausted and pretty beat up from the whole ordeal . when mickey woke up the following morning of the fight ian was still sleeping. So mickey figured he would be cute and make them breakfast. He wasn’t much of a cook but ian was a southsider too. He had far from a normal perfect life. So just the effort would be appreciated  
About a hour later mickey finshed cooking and went to wake up ian. Ian was already up but not out of bed. Mickey asked what was wrong but got no answer. He kept asking him what was wrong and ian wouldn’t respond till finally one time he snapped. Mickey never seen ian like that, when he yelled at him he had a mixture of anger and self loathing in his voice that left mickey somewhat in shambles. The only thing mickey could do at that point in time was call Fiona and the other Gallagher’s. mickey told Fiona what was going on and she said she would be there in 10 minutes. 10 minutes went by and there was a knock on the door. It was all the Gallagher’s, they all piled in the Milkovich house and all proceed to attempt and priy anything out of ian but none of them could.  
Fiona saw ian was acting like monica and explained to mickey what the problem was. She said he was showing signs of being bipolar like their mother, and that he needed to be hospitalized he could be suicidal and do something stupid. As soon as mickey heard that all his blood rushed to his head and he snapped Screaming, refusing to let ian go to a hospital. That they were his family and they could fix ian.  
mickey sat there and realized how big of a fuck wad he was for acting like that towards the Gallagher’s. He just couldn’t think of ian being locked up in some psyche ward with some fucking loonies.  
Ian started to move and rustle around next to mickey in bed. Mickey snapped back into present time and looked over. Ian was still facing the wall opposite of mickey. Mickey wanted to see if he was awake but wasn’t sure if he should since ians breakdown mickey didn’t wanna make things any worse then what they were.  
“fuck it” mickey said in his head  
He slowly moved to see if ian was awake or just moving in his sleep. You never knew with ian he tossed and turned all the time when mickey would pass out and wasn’t holding him anymore. As he peered over and looked at ians face. He saw ians big emerald green eyes staring back at him.  
“good morning” mickey said and leaned in to kiss ian  
Ian hasn’t kissed mickey since all of this, and didn’t know what to expect  
ian leaned up and kissed him back.  
“good morning beautiful” ian replied  
“hey I aint no bitch alright?” mickey replied but then stopped immeditaly.  
He realized ian kissed him back and actually talked to him for the first time in a week. The fuzzy feeling came back but he enjoyed it. Maybe ian has gotten better mickey thought. A giant grin spread across mickeys face like wildfire, and his eyes lit up like a house that the electric company had shut off the lights but decied to give them some more time to pay the bill, and put the power back on.  
“hey how you feeling? Youre actually talking today” mickey asked subtly  
“hmm I guess I am feeling alright.” Ian replied  
“alright means?” mickey questioned  
“im talking to you aren’t i?” ian answered with a hint of playfulness  
Mickey sat there and smiled. It seemed ian was getting back to himself. Slowly but it was coming along.  
“so do you wanna talk about what was wrong?” mickey asked  
Ian laid in bed silent for a moment and then sat up.  
“In all honesty mickey. I don’t know what is wrong with me. After the fight with your dad I woke up the next morning wanting to die. Ive never felt so alone in my life that I wanted it to end.” ian said with his voice trembling  
Mickey sat silent  
“I didn’t want to be here anymore in the world. Stuck on the southside working at a club for the rest of my life cause I fucked up my military career . I feel like I have nothing in my life to keep me going” ian went to continue but herd sniffling.  
He looked up and saw it was coming from mickey, Tears streaming down his face. Ian at that moment just realized what he had said  
“no mickey I mea..”  
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU FELT ALONE?” mickey screamed  
“HOW CAN YOU SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR WHAT ABOUT ME? AM I NOT FUCKING SHIT TO YOU?!” mickey stopped to get a grip on his self.  
He was almost full on crying and he didn’t want ian to think he was a pussy.  
Ian sat up quickly and put his hands on mickeys face.  
“mickey im sorry I didn’t know what I was saying. I got caught up in my emotions they aren’t normal right now and I don’t know how to handle this all”  
Ian started to wipe the tears from mickeys face.  
“promise me you wont think like that again and you will talk to me please ian I beg you” mickey pleaded  
Ian looked him in the eyes and said  
“I promise”  
Mickey kissed ian and nustled his head in his chest And replied   
“we are gonna get through this. You are gonna be normal and happy like you were.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian struggles with how he's been with Mickey and try's to figure out what his problem is. Mickey and Fiona made a choice for ian without his consent.

Ian still sat on the bed after Mickey and his conversation.  
"Do you wanna hit the shower with me?" Mickey asked with a gleam in his eye as bright as the northern star.  
Ian sat and thought about it, but he wasn't really up for it.  
"Maybe some other time I don't feel like it right now" Ian replied.  
The gleam of hope Mickey had in his eyes had vanished.  
"Alright, you're gonna shower though today you smell like shit"  
Ian made a face at Mickey then smelt his armpit. Mickey was right he did smell terrible. It's been at least four days since he last showered. Which wasn't normal for him, but then again much hadn't been normal since this all happened to Ian. All at once random thoughts started popping in Ians head.  
"Why is this happening to me?" Ian thought "Out of all the gallaghers I have to be the most like Monica...ha then again I'm not even really franks kid.. What a pleasure it would be now to be franks kid. Lip, Fiona, and all them seemed normal. At least not having manic mood swings that make you wanna fucking die"  
The water from the shower started to run and it made Ian lose his train of thought. He took a deep breath In and fell back onto the bed.  
He started to think about Mickey.  
"I guess he really does love me, and we are a couple. Dealing with all this and me. On top of him telling his dad and the huge fight...wow I've been pretty shitty to Mickey..I mean he hasn't always been best to me. But he is just trying to help make me feel better." Ian got back up and scooted to the end of the bed. Fixing his boxers and readjusting himself.  
He put his arms out starching them till they cracked. He got up and started to walk towards the bedroom door but before he could open it. It swung open and hit him in the face.  
"FUCK!" Ian screamed in pain  
"AW SHIT, I'm sorry Ian! I didn't think you would be out of bed" Mandy pleaded.  
Ian had his hand cupped over his forehead trying to relive the pain of the door being swung in his face.  
He looked up to see Mandy. Standing there timid from the accident she had just caused.  
"It's okay Mandy" Ian said still rubbing his forehead. There was sure to be a decent lump on it in a couple minutes.  
"I'm surprise you're out of bed. Feeling better?" Mandy asked  
" a little bit I guess.." Ian started to walk back towards the bed and sat down. Mandy followed and sat next to him.  
"Well you are out of bed so that's a first step!" Mandy shouted in excitement.  
Ian cringed at how loud she got, He had just woke up and he was still groggy.  
Mandy noticed and instantly put a mug of coffee in Ian's hands.  
"Made this for you, since you're up I expect you to drink it."  
Ian took the mug and gave Mandy a small grin.  
"Thanks Mandy"  
"No problem, I'm off to work though"  
Mandy still worked at the diner uptown. It wasn't nice it was small but a lot of locals went there so she made good money.  
"I was suppose to be there a hour ago. But the bitch took to long of a shower." Mandy was referring to mickeys wife. The Russian whore who caused so many problems for them Who raped Mickey.. Ian stopped thinking about it.  
She is the mother of mickeys son, and she's let up since Mickey came out. Only cause she doesn't have leverage anymore and knows Mickey really wants to be with Me"  
"C'mon Mandy give her a break"  
"No! I have work, sucking cock for loose change can wait" Mandy screamed.  
A car horn sounded from outside.  
"Shit that's my ride see ya later Ian!" Mandy was already out the door before she finished her sentence.  
At least for a milkovich she had a good head on her shoulders.  
Ian looked down at the mug of dark liquid.  
"Should I or shouldn't i" he contemplated  
"Fuck it"  
Ian took a big swig of the coffee and instantly gaged. He spat the coffee back in the mug, and had his tongue hanging out to try and avoid the taste.  
The coffee was watered down. Mandy must of saved all the coffee grounds and made a pot. Which it tasted like old nasty coffee from the dumpster at Kashs.  
He got up and started to walk to the bedroom door, carefully so no one else would hit him in the head.  
He opened mickeys door and headed towards the kitchen table. He set the coffee down and cheeked his watch.  
It was 12 in the afternoon.  
"I'm surprised he is still in the shower"  
Ian turned around and went back in to mickeys room. As he was making his way to the bathroom door he was already removing his wifebeater.  
He opened the bathroom door and a cloud of steam came bellowing out at his face. It felt nice and smelt like Mickey.  
"WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Mickey shouted over the water.  
Ian continued to enter the bathroom. Removing his boxers next.  
"HELLO?! AM I TALKING TO MY FUCKING SELF HERE OR WHAT?"  
Ian slightly giggled. He knew Mickey hated when his family would just barge in when he was showering.  
Ian stood in front of the shower curtain and pulled it open.  
"WHAT THE FUC" Mickey stopped dead sentence.  
Mickey at first had a hard, angry, and soul consuming look on his face. The one ian seen many times before when he would come into kashs and steal shit.  
After he realized it was ian, it went back to the nice normal Mickey the one Ian loved to see. He had a slight grin.  
"Hey, so you deiced to join me huh?"  
Mickey said in a joking way.  
Ian smiled, and stepped in the shower.  
The water was still warm surprisingly. On the south side that was a rare thing to have in your house. The gallaghers barely had hot water in the summer, let alone the winter.  
Ian turned and faced the shower head and let the water run on his face. It felt nice. He forgot how relaxing showers were because of his episode he had been having.  
Mickey started rubbing ians back with the wash rag.  
Moving it from the the top of Ian's back to his ass.  
Mickey started to get hard. He hadn't seen ian naked in a week, which compared to how it normally was, was a very long time.  
Ian felt something poking at his ass, and he let a grin make it's way to his face.  
"I know you don't want to, I'm sorry I can't help it." Mickey stuttered.  
Ian turned around and looked at Mickey. Mickey had a look of disappointment across his face.  
Ian leaned in and started making out with Mickey.  
Ian loved how his and mickeys tongues worked as one when they kissed. Never to much tongue like some of the boys at ROTC training.  
It was just perfect. Nothing else matter to ian when he kissed Mickey. He missed the feeling he had right now. Mickey made him feel whole and he forgot that.  
Mickey pulled back and looked down at Ian's dick. It was hard and fully aroused. Mickey looked back at Ian.  
"Seems like someone else misses this.."  
Ian laughed  
"Hey what can I say, I can't help it?"  
Mickey laughed and got on his knees, letting ian fill his mouth with himself.  
Ian moaned in pleasure. Mickey knew what he was doing for never being with any guy besides Ian. His mouth wasn't only good for talking shit amongst other things.  
Ian ran his fingers through mickeys wet hair, He was in pure pleasure.  
After a few minutes ian pulled Mickey up and started to kiss him violently. It had been awhile for the both of them, plus they had been getting on each other's nerves for the last week. So there was pent up aggravation to be released.  
Mickey pulled from Ian.  
"Alright fuck me now" there was excitement in mickeys voice.  
Ian smiled and grabbed mickeys hip and spun him around.  
Mickey bent over at a angle so he could steady himself on the shower wall. Ian held his his dick and started to put himself into Mickey.  
They both gasped as Ian went in with ease, slowly putting inch after inch in Mickey. Mickey was breathing in deep breaths now. Letting his body get comfortable with Ian in him. Ian noticed his hands clenching the wall. He bent over on mickeys back.  
"are you good Mickey?" Ian whispered.  
"Just fuck me" Mickey said between his breaths.  
Ian stood straight again.  
"If you say so"  
Ian begin to move his hips. Thrusting in and out of Mickey. Mickey started to breath heavier, as the feeling of pleasure not only took over his body but his soul too. It wasnt the only time, but when Mickey and Ian fucked. Mickey felt so in love with Ian. He never did it with any other guy. So he felt like this was more then sex. Which it was , it definitely was love.  
Mickey turned his head to see ian.  
Ian's eyes were closed, but opened up and immediately connected with mickeys eyes. Ian leaned against his back again to kiss him. Ian loved when Mickey would kiss him when they fucked. It turned ian on, and made him feel actually wanted by Mickey.  
Ian began to pant, and removed his lips from Mickeys. pulling Mickey in closer with each pump he did.  
Mickey began to jerk off while Ian was fucking him.  
"I'm...about...to..cum" Mickey said gasping for breath.  
"Me too" said ian  
Ian was happy cause the water started to slide over to the cold side now compared to the warmth that engulfed him at first.  
Ian began to thrust harder, and faster, tightening his grip on mickeys hips  
"IM CUMMING" Ian shouted  
His eyes closed tightly and made his face wrinkle up as he emptied himself in Mickey.  
"ME TOO!" Mickey screamed as he stroked himself.  
Mickey cam on the shower ground and it slide past his and Ian's feet straight to the drain  
Ian pulled out of Mickey snapped him back to standing straight and spun him around, He kissed Mickey.  
"I love you" Ian said.  
Mickey pulled away so he could reply.  
"Hey I love you too but the water is cold as fuck. Let get out"  
Ian nodded in agreement, and both of them exited the tub.  
Mickey grabbed a towel and tossed it to ian. Ian caught it and started to dry his body. Mickey already had another towel.  
He knew Ian would be coming to join him, and the thought made ian chuckle.  
Mickey turned the water off and began to dry himself as well.  
" so I have something to tell you."  
Mickey said  
"What?"  
"Me and Fiona called a psychiatrist and set up a appointment for you. You know try and talk about this see what's wrong." Mickey replied.  
Ian stood there for a second. His face was turning red and he could feel it.  
"Don't freak out, don't freak out.." Ian thought but it wasn't helping.  
The rage built up inside like a hurricane making it's way to shore.  
Mickey saw ian trembling and took a step forward.  
"Ian.." Mickey reached out his hand,  
But ian instantaneously slapped it away.  
"OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"  
"I DONT NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP. NO ONE FUCKING ASKED YOU TO DO SHIT FOR ME"  
Mickey could see the rage in Ian's eyes. The beautiful green emerald color in them were gone, shadowed by anger.  
"Ian chill"  
"NO FUCK YOU FUCK THIS IM LEAVING!" Ian stormed out the bathroom, and slammed the door.  
Mickey stood still with a blank expression on his face.  
Going through everything that had just happened.  
"I just wanna help" Mickey whispered under his breath. Feeling lost and alone. Why is ian doing this? Mickey thought. He started to get angry and had his fist clenched closed. tears were swelling in his eyes.  
"Na you know what FUCK THIS! IAN!" Mickey swung the bathroom door open, just as the front door slammed closed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After storming out of mickeys ian heads to the old gallaghers house to confront Fiona

Steam was coming off of Ian's hair, It was still soaking wet. He didn't really make a effort to dry off before he stormed out. Kinda just grabbed clothes and left. Ian stopped walking and looked down at his attire. of course he just happened to throw on all of mickeys clothes, besides his shoes.  
Ian took a deep breath and continued walking down the alley.  
He couldn't believe Fi and Mickey would just do something like that. Calling a doctor without at least consulting him about it.  
It's not like he was losing grip on life, or was he?  
Ian never thought that he had been spinning out of control. He was just living life. So he had a few bad days, doesn't mean he needed a shrink.  
The sound of the blue line flying past above caught Ian's attention. Which was good cause he almost missed his street.  
Ian was still burning with anger, and was planing on letting it out all on his older sibling. No mercy was going to be bestowed on Fiona for this.  
Ian stomped up the steps to his old home, and swung the door open, Flying in like a hurricane.  
Debbie head spun to see who came in.  
"Ian?" Debbie was startled  
"Where's Fi?" Ian was heading towards the kitchen.  
"She's upstairs" Debbie's said questionably.  
Ian made his way through the kitchen to the back stairs.  
Debbie sat confused as to what was going on, so She got up and ran to catch up with ian.  
Ian made it to the top of the stairs. Fiona was standing in front of the laundry shoot, she was throwing a mixture of everyone's clothes down to be washed.  
"Ian you're up?!" There was excitement in Fiona voice.  
She dropped the laundry basket and ran up to embrace ian.  
Before she could wrap her arms around ian, He pushed Her away from him and she almost fell over.  
"WHAT THE FUCK IAN?!"  
"YOU CALLED A FUCKING DOCTOR?!" The rage was coming back. Ian had his fist clutched and was shaking.  
"AH WELL YEAH?! FUCKING LOOK AT YOU?!"  
"ITS NOT YOUR FUCKING PLACE!"  
"IT IS MY FUCKING PLACE!"  
"NO ITS FUCKING NOT FUCK OFF"  
Ian lost it and punched a whole in the wall leaving a fist size creator in the wall.  
"LOOK WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST DID!" Fiona was screaming  
But Ian was already trying to escape the argument that was happening.  
"OH YOU ARENT LEAVING JUST YET!" Fiona was furious.  
"YOU THINK YOU CAN COME HERE AND JUST SCREAM, PUNCH HOLES IN THE WALL AND FUCKING LEAVE!" Fiona turned around and ran toward the other stairs.  
"Debs lock the back door!" she shouted over her shoulder.  
She figured she could beat him to the front door, and wasn't gonna let him leave. Debbie headed down the same stairwell as ian leading to the back. Ian was already to the living room when Debbie made it down the stairs. Just as she locked the door Fiona made it down the other stairs and stood In front of ian and the door.  
"MOVE FI I DONT NEED YOUR HELP!" Ian screamed.  
"OH YOU DONT NEED MY HELP?!"  
Ian was already turned around, and headed to the back door till he saw Debbie sitting in front of the door.  
"ALL THE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL? HMM IAN? STAYING IN A SHITER HOUSE THEN OURS WITH MONICA?! BLACKING OUT NOT KNOWING WHERE YOU ARE? WHO YOURE WITH? YOU SURE YOU DONT NEED HELP"  
He stopped and stood still as the world before him seemed to crash.  
Everything was off it's center of balance for ian. His life, his relationship, his well being. Nothing felt right.  
"Ian just take a breath and relax" Fiona said faintly.  
Ian fist went from closed tightly, to open and relax. His face was getting hot and his eyes were swelling up with tears.  
Ian collapsed to his knees and started to cry. Fiona ran up and sat next to him and started to hold him.  
"It's gonna be alright ian" she said rubbing his back.  
"I don't know what's wrong with me" ian was in utter distress. Everything Fiona said started to settle in. She was right, his life was on a slippery slope to shit.  
"I know ian and we are gonna figure it out" Fiona was trying to sound as comforting as she could.  
Debbie stood up and walked to ian and Fiona, she flopped down next to them to console her brother.  
"It's okay ian we just wanna help" Debbie rested her head on Ian's shoulder.  
Fiona wiped the tears coming down Ian's cheek.  
"We are gallaghers, and we have each other's backs, I know we don't do therapy, but you need help ian"  
Ian lifted his head from Fiona's shoulders.  
"You're right Fi, I need help"  
"so I'm assuming Mickey told you?"  
Ian dried the rest of his tears  
"Yeah, I kinda freaked out and left."  
" he just wants to help you to ian. You need to call him and let him know you are okay" Fiona tone was serious but empathetic.  
"You're right.." Ian stood up and wiped his face one more time.  
"Thank you guys for understanding"  
"No problem ian" said Debbie.  
"That's what we are here for" Fiona said.  
Ian hugged his sisters as tightly as he could.  
"Where's you phone Fi?"  
"Upstairs in my room honey" Fiona responded.  
Ian headed up stairs to Fiona's room with a cleared head and heavy heart.   
"I can't keep doing this to Mickey" ian thought  
Ian slid open Fiona's door and walked in her room and shut it behind him.  
Her room was a mess, clothes were across the bed and floor.  
"Well she was just doing laundry"  
He looked around her room for the phone Steve had gotten her awhile back. Surprisingly he found it quickly in the chaos of her room.  
He saw it plugged in by the bed. Ian walked up and unlocked her phone, and started going through her contacts till he found mickeys number.  
He clicked his name and stared at the phone for a minute.  
His mind was moving fast.  
"What do I even say? Sorry I snapped again? Ugh let's get this over with"  
Ian clicked the phone icon to make the call.  
He held the phony to his ear.  
It rang a couple times and then someone answered  
"Hello" a voice answered.  
Ian took a deep breath.  
"Hi"....


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mickey doesnt know what to do after ian leaves.

Mickey stood in his bathroom door way. The sound of the front door slamming echoed throughout the house. Mickey didn't know what he had done wrong, he really just wanted to help. Mickey walked to his bed, still only in his towel mickey fell onto the mattress . He felt empty. He was really looking out for Ian's best interest. He just couldn't understand why ian was responding how he was. Was he not thinking of his well being?  
The thoughts kept fading in and out of mickeys mind. He was under a lot of stress and didn't know how to deal with it. Mickey kept trying to think of a solution. As he pondered all of his problems which came from ian. He couldn't help but realize the toll it was taking on him. He was fucking tired; His eyes keep fluttering open and closed, He was attempting to fight the urge to sleep. Mickey had no idea where ian went or what he was doing but it bugged him, He hadn't been completely normal. Mickey tried his hardest to stay awake till the sleep finally won the tug a war with his eyes and he was passed out.

*****

Mickey was awakened by the sound of the house phone ringing, He blinked a couple times as he rejoined the world of the living.  
He peered at the clock on his night stand. It read 6:00.  
"How the fuck I sleep so long?"  
As Mickey rubbed his eyes he realized his phone was still ringing.  
"Shit"  
Mickey sprung up with only a towel around his waist still, He was so worked up over ian leaving he didn't even bother getting dressed.  
Mickey ran to the kitchen and answered the phone.  
"Hello?" Mickey said into the phone.  
"Hi..", Said the person on the other line.  
Mickey could tell it was ian by his voice.  
“Hey”  
There was a pause on the phone.  
“you there?” mickey asked  
“yeah Im here, im at home”  
“oh I didn’’t know.” mickey said with hint of sarcasm .  
“haha” ian laughed  
“I don’t think anything is really fuckin funny” mickey started to get mad.  
“well..” ian wasn’t able to finish his sentence.  
“There isn’t a fucking well Gallagher, you think this is really just affecting you?” mickeys voice began to get louder.  
“this affects me just as much as you. I sat with you, day after day waiting for you to get better.  
I dealt with you fucking yelling at me, and making me feel like shit!  
ALL I WANNA DO IS HELP, AND ALL YOU DO IS THROW IT IN MY FACE.” Mickey voice was cracking as tears came down from his eyes.  
“I wanna be there for you ian, but I can’t if you won’t let me”  
All mickey heard was ian breathing into the receiver.  
“ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING ANSWER ME?”  
“yeah im gonna mickey”  
Mickey was standing in his kitchen still in his towel.  
“I know you just wanna help” pleaded ian  
“all I can say is sorry, I can’t control my emotions anymore. Whatever is wrong with me happened all of a sudden. I don’t know how to deal with it. You have to understand that”  
Mickey wiped his eyes as he listened to ians voice , it was so soothing to him.  
He was still upset, but hearing that ian was okay, and calmed down made him a lot less mad.  
“so are you gonna go?” mickey asked.  
“to the doctor?”  
“yeah”  
There was a pause on the other end of the phone.  
“ian?”  
“ yeah…I’ll go mickey..only for you though”  
“thank you ian”  
“I love you”  
“I love you too ian.” Mickey wasn’t mad at all anymore.  
Hearing that ian agreed to go to the doctors was amazing news. Mickey didn’t know what changed ians  
Mind, but whatever or whomever did it mickey was entitled to do any favor for them.  
“what made you change your mind?”  
“I talked with Fiona.. good thing lip wasn’t here..i kinda came in like a crazy man”  
“you have been doing that a lot lately” mickey snickered into the phone  
“I know I have… well what are you doing? Ian asked  
Mickey didn’t wanna let ian know how much he really affected him from freaking out.  
“umm , well after you left I got dressed and took a nap” mickey wasn’t really telling far from the truth.  
“oh, well wanna stay the night here tonight?”  
Mickey never minded staying at the gallaghers house; it was a full house which his wasn’t so much.  
“yeah, ill be there in a hour?”  
“okay mick, I love you”  
“I love you too ian” mickey took the phone away, and hung it back on the receiver.  
He didn’t know why, but ian was everything to mickey. He was the sun, the stars, the color in the sky and trees. Without ian mickey was nothing, which mickey has been there before.  
Been in the nothingness, been in the darkness where he couldn’t remember what the light looked light.  
As long as ian was in good mental health, mickey would always have light in his life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mickey goes to the gallaghers after he gets off the phone with ian.

Mickey hung up the phone, and started to head back to his room. It felt as if mickey had a weight lifted off of his shoulders. Knowing ian was safe, and okay was all mickey wanted when he would leave because of a fight. Mickey took the still damp towel off from around his waist, and began to rummage through the pile of clothes that were on the floor. Mickey never knew what was clean or unclean, so he would always do the smell test before putting anything on.  
Mickey smelt the first shirt he grabbed, and the smell of body order radiated off it.  
“ugh! What the fuck!” mickey was choking from the smell  
“CAN NO ONE DO FUCKING LAUNDRY IN THIS HOUSE?!” screamed mickey , but no one was in the house to respond to his his loud rant. Mickey continued to search through the pile of clothes, He was determined he would find something clean. A few minutes passed before he finally found a shirt that passed the smell test.  
Mickey threw on the shirt and a pair of pants, but no underwear. Even though it was winter he was gonna go commando. He didn’t want to waste anymore time searching for clothes.  
Mickey began to head to the front door of the milkovich house, throwing on a jacket and shoes as he made his way to the door. When mickey opened the front door a gust of bitter cold air smacked him in the face. Mickey shivered as the cold started to infect his whole body.  
“this fuck is lucky I love him” mickey thought

 

******

 

Fiona was making dinner when she was interrupted by a knock on the door.  
“CAN SOMEONE GET THAT!” Fiona was straining pasta she just finished cooking for spaghetti night.  
The knocking proceeded.  
“HELLO?!” no one answered her.  
“I can never get a fucking minute of silence” she said quietly under her breath.  
She put the pot back on the stove and hurried to the door, passing carl who was fixated on some violent t.v show.  
“you couldn’t get the door carl?” Fiona asked  
“this dude fell from the 6th floor of a building and lived” carl proclaimed  
“Well he isn’t making you dinner is he?” Fiona asked as she opened the door.  
“he wouldn’t be able to now” chuckled carl  
When Fiona opened the door she saw the back of a dark haired boy, shaking as the aroma of a lit cigarette flooded the inside of the house. The dark haired boy turned around and reviled himself to be mickey milkovich.  
“hey mickey!” Fiona said with warmth in her voice.  
“uh.. hey Fiona..is ian here?” mickey asked knowing he was, but he didn’t know what else to say.  
“yeah, come on in.” she said placing her hand on mickeys back as he entered the Gallagher house.  
“you must be freezing, did you walk all the way here?” she asked with a nurturing voice..  
“yeah the fucking L broke down.” Mickey answered with his teeth chattering.  
“aw, im sorry mick” Fiona couldn’t help but feel comfortable calling mickey mick.  
“AWWW, HE IS STILL ALIVE!” carl screamed with amazement  
Fiona and mickey both looked at carl and then back at each other.  
“well warm up, ians upstairs in his room with lip”  
“okay thanks Fi” mickey answered.  
Mickey took his jacket off and hung it on the coat rack and was making his way upstairs. Working his way up stairs he could hear ian and lip laughing and joking around. a grin made its way across mickeys face as he reached the top of the stairs. The boys bedroom door was partially closed, and mickey stood outside of the door way to take in joyful giggles and horsing around from ian and lip. A anxious feeling flooded mickey as he reminisced when ian was like that every day.  
Mickey took a deep breath and knocked on the door before entering the room.  
“come in!” the boys said in unison while still laughing.  
Mickey entered the room and found the brothers wrestling on the ground.  
“haha, come on lip stop!” ian screamed  
“not a chance bro!” lip responded between the heavy breaths.  
“come on mickey is here!”  
Lip stopped and looked up for a moment.  
“oh hey mickey” lip said in a friendly voice as he got off of ian.  
“hey lip” mickey said while staring at the ground.  
“don’t trip guys im leaving.” Lip said as he walked passed mickey and out of the room.  
Ian sat on the floor still and scooted up against his bed staring up at mickey, he watched as mickey shut the door and sat next to him. There was silence; neither of them said anything but nothing needed to be said. Mickey knew ian was sorry, and ian knew mickey had already forgave him. Mickey ran his hand through ians hair and kissed his forehead.  
“so how has your day been?” mickey asked  
“eh..It’s gotten better” ian had his head down like a puppy that peed on the rug.  
“I think your family is finally warming up to the idea of us.” Mickey paused  
“yeah I think they have too”  
“DINNER!” Fiona screamed from the bottom of the stairs  
“you hungry? Fiona made her famous spaghetti surprise” ian giggled  
“fuck yeah” mickey sprung up and held his hand out to ian  
Ian smiled and grabbed ahold of mickeys hand as he got up. Both of the boys made their way down stairs to the kitchen. When they entered the kitchen the energy was exspolsive, the table was full with all the gallaghers. Debbie, carl, lip, where all seated at the table with plates already. The boys walked past the table and liams high chair towards Fiona.

“sorry boys, no room at the table you are gonna have to eat in the living room” Fiona was handing each boy a plate of noodles and with a sauce that looked like ketchup and a mystery meat what was probably better left unknown.  
“its alright fi” ian said  
“yeah. A home cooked meal makes up for it.” Mickey said with a smile  
“mandy aint much of a cook…or anything house related for that matter” continued mickey.  
“oh I know trust me” Fiona responded.  
The boys each took their plate and sat on the couch. Fiona stared at ian and mickey as they sat next to each other laughing and punching each other lightly. She still was getting used to the idea that mickey hood rat destined for jail milkovich, and her sweet caring brother ian were a couple. She was worried about it, she didn’t want ian getting hurt.  
Mickey must have another motive or something. Using ian for money, a place to stay, food or something. She remembered she told ian that mickey does really care about him, but deep down she didn’t know.  
As she thought of all of this ian got up and headed in the kitchen to make another plate. When ian got up Fiona noticed that mickey was staring at ian. He wasn’t just spacing out, he was watching ian and Fiona was watching him. Then everything she just thought changed, she saw something that anyone raising children rarely gets to see. Watch someone watch your kid, and see the same things you do. mickey had so much passion in his eyes, it was a look no one has ever seen from the seemingly cold emotionless teenager before. she liked it, she could see how important ian was to mickey, they were good for each other.  
just then Fiona came back to the real world.  
"you okay fi?" ian asked as he moved beside here.  
"uh, yeah" fiona stuttered a bit  
she grabbed her plate and went to the table, and began to dig in and participate in the dinner conversation. Throughout the night Fiona started to think mickey truly cared for ian now just by the glances she would catch mickey giving ian, and that gave Fiona peace of mind that her little brother was in good hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used a quote i loved from the show "united states of tara" if any of you caught it


End file.
